|Donald Trump and the Apprentice
Rules Applied to Dating
I was reading an article about the Apprentice
and some of the rules that Donald Trump and his apprentice assistants had
come up with about business. While reading a lot of them I saw a huge relation
to how these same rules also apply to dating as crazy as it might sound.
Donald Trump is a famous Billionaire
who has endured ups and downs for a number of decades. It appears a large
portion of his wealth has been made in Real Estate. Recently he has had a
popular reality series NBC has been showing known as the Apprentice. The
Reality Show isnt all frivolous as a lot of the other reality shows
around. At the center of every episode are real gems on how to climb a corporate
ladder, how to lead, how to stand out from the crowd and even how to fail
and avoid getting the boot.
The Apprentice centers on a competition
for a job working for the Billionaire Donald Trump. Every episode features
some sort of business task or some sort of competition. At the end of each
episode some of the competitors are fired which means they leave the show
and miss out on the opportunity to work for My Trump. This takes place in
the Boardroom where members are encouraged to evaluate their teammates
performance, abilities, work ethics. The guy who makes the biggest errors
tends to be the one fired. Beyond winning the competition, each
individual team member must act in a manner that earns him or her respect
as a project manager or team member.
Some of the gems of the show for
1. Think Like A Winner
Donald Trumps most profound comment
(and first commandment) is, "Winning is everything." He explained that while
there is no better feeling
the ability to think like a winner is the
key to being one. Those who take their eyes off the prize wind up hearing
two little words: youre fired.
This relates to dating as somebody who
feels confident can be confident. A person who feels he has already won a
battle has a huge edge over somebody who feels he has a lot of obstacles
to overcome. A person who feels he is a winner is a winner as your beliefs
are what shape you. The person you wish to win over will be heavily more
attracted to somebody who believes in themselves than somebody who
2. Polish Your Interview Skills
The importance of exceptional interview
skills became crucial as the field narrowed to the final four contestants
in episode 14. Kelly, Jennifer M, Kevin and Stacy underwent a grueling series
of job interviews with four of the top business leaders in the world. The
two candidates left standing after this process Kelly and Jennifer
M demonstrated superior ability to think on their feet. Some of the
spontaneous answers lobbed by Kevin and Sandy, made viewers cringe. It quickly
became clear who had the right stuff to survive the hot
This second rule can be applied to having
good communication skills. Somebody who can think of their feet and express
their thoughts easily can communicate their feelings much more easily. Somebody
who is also good at interviews will know what to say that can open somebody
up to a whole new level. They will allow a great sense of rapport to be built
quickly and be very deep.
3. Lead Strong or Play Along
Getting their team of alphas
to follow without question was a challenge for each project manager. Some
ruled with an iron fist, others used manipulation and guilt. Some didnt
handle it at all. In episode 11, Wes took the lead in a task to create an
ad campaign for Levis Jeans. Maria, one of his teammates, thought she
had this task together and angrily told Wes to back off, while she seized
control. Maria was so busy throwing her weight around, she missed the primary
focus of jeans advertising
the butt shots. This single
oversight cost the team dearly. Later, in The Boardroom, Wes was fired for
failing to control Maria,,, and she was fired for posing as a know-it-all.
Two for the price of one turned out to be all in a days work for Mr.
On this and dating. One of the things
we teach our students in workshops is to lead and never hesitate. When a
student sees strong indications of interest it is his responsibility to act
on them and follow up. If a student fails to lead than the interest level
will soon drop to a very low level quickly. Learning to Play along can also
be taken as a way to see the signals and be aware of them. When somebody
is showing interest its best to play along and let them be interested
than giving them something else.
4. Step Up; Take Responsibility
Finger-pointing was rampant among teams
on the Apprentice. If you were really slick about it, laying blame off on
one of your teammates could help you survive another day. If you
This is a common thing I see with some
students when I hear about what they have done before working with Fidentia
in a workshop. They fail to take responsibility for their own actions. This
is done in so many ways its crazy. First if they have a bad date they blame
the date a lot, where they went, what they did, others around yet they
never look at themselves and wonder if they could have done anything different
to improve the situation. The only way to learn from mistakes is to first
realize you made a mistake in the first place.
Another example is guys who use different
systems for dating. There are many programs out there. I can make ALL of
them work. When a student can not make something work. They tend to first
want to blame the system instead of themselves. So they are on a constant
search of dating systems never realizing that each system has had some students
have success. They can not learn if they do not take responsibility for their
5. Resist the Impulse to Be
The game provides that the winning project
manager receive an exemption from firing should his or her team lose the
following week an Apprentice "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
Bradford won week one
in week two. He had clearly been the hardest working and most productive
on his team and Mr. Trump seemed to especially favor him. Moreover, he had
the exemption and could not be fired. All he had to do was sit back and make
insightful comments about his teammates.
But Bradford let his cockiness get in
the way of sound business judgment. He bragged to Mr. Trump that he was so
confident of his performance he was willing to give up his exemption.
Trump accepted Bradfords offer
and then fired him, for making an unwise and impulsive decision. It was a
harsh, but instructive consequence for acting in a rash manner.
One of the things I can think of with
this is somebody who is too impulsive is not paying attention to others.
A relationship is a two way street involving both parties. When somebody
is being impulsive and the other person isnt respective than this creates
a dead end.
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6. Instill Confidence in Your Team
Both of the final two contestants, Kelly
and Jennifer M, demonstrated how to respect and inspire their co-workers.
Choosing people you trust and with whom you have mutual respect goes a long
way toward success.
In the final episode, eight of the previously
fired teammates were brought back to become the support team for the final
task. Jennifer and Kelly were allowed to take turns choosing their team members.
Kelly took a stronger role with his team, expecting more of each of them,
while Jennifer delegated the heavy lifting to herself.
In the end, both sets of teams did a
great job for their PMs, but Kellys team proved more loyal and spoke
more highly of his leadership abilities. Their confidence in him had an impact
on the final outcome.
This can be taken in installing confidence
in who you are attracted to. When you are interested in them and extremely
confident. Others will feel your true feelings. When they can feel your feelings
they will mirror them. Who wants to be around somebody who takes away their
7. Watch What You Say
Both talking too much and saying the
wrong thing can hurt you in business. Jennifer C was an example of both errors
and their consequences. Every time she appeared in The Boardroom, Jennifer
was admonished by both Mr. Trump and his property manager, Carolyn, for talking
when she should have been listening to others.
Later, after making a demeaning comment
about two women customers in an episode, she was booted from the show. To
add injury to her insult, when the show finally aired, she was also fired
from her real world job for that comment.
This applies to dating with the idea
of listening is just as important as talking. Telling somebody they are pretty
when they are trying to make a point and have something important to say
is not what they want to hear. The same would go for things such a negative
hits or being cocky and funny which are terms used in the seduction
A negative hit is a slight insult which
is supposed to be insulting but not seem like you meant it. I do not usually
endorse this. It is to try to convey you are not really interested in your
target person to let their guard down.
Somebody who is being very cocky and
funny can do so at the wrong time too. When a person is showing signs of
interest they are asking for rapport. Giving them answers that are cocky
and funny will actually break rapport and chase a lot of people away.
8. Know When to Listen
During another visit to The Boardroom,
Trump chastised (National Debate Champion) Andy for not standing up and arguing
in his own behalf. Andy shot back to Mr. Trump that part of being a debate
champ is in knowing when to talk and when to listen.
A short and sweet argument that paid
I think this and how it applies to dating
and seduction is very obvious. Listening is a key part of communication.
9. Keep it Strictly Business
Viewers were told over and over
that The Apprentice contestants were culled from over a million applicants
and were said to be the best of the very best. This being so, one wouldnt
expect the male participants to lose their composure when attractive women
crossed their paths, mid-task. And yet, there was Raj. In addition to an
unending stream of inappropriate comments, Raj stopped just short of a butt
wiggle and a "woooo, whooo " whenever a beautiful woman was within ten
And while this behavior did not directly
lead to his being fired, it did (often) cause him to lose focus and take
his eye off the prize. In fact, Raj was ultimately fired for letting an important
detail slide making sure the toilet was installed in a home he was
charged with remodeling.
This is a little bit more difficult to
summarize for dating. Somebody who lacks focus tends to lack drive. When
you really have a goal in mind going after 20 different things usually gets
10. Avoid Showing Your A**
This one should be a no-brainer, but
since it actually happened, maybe not. Fairly late in the game, in episode
13, Ivana was desperate for a win. Clutching at straws, she offered to pull
down her skirt and flash her underwear to a strange businessman on the street
if he would pay her twenty dollars for a candy bar worth one dollar. He
and then she did
So, it was no surprise that Ivana wound
up in The Boardroom, having to explain this gaff to Mr. Trump. She claimed
her action as a gimmick. But this taught us another valuable
lesson know when you have done something inappropriate and face it
head on. When she refused to acknowledge that she crossed a line, the shock,
dismay and controversy surrounding her behavior was palpable.
Well this is true but there is a time
to show youre a** and a time not to show your assets. When you first
meet somebody common sense says dont take off your pants as the first
things you do when introducing yourself.
To summarize all of this a lot of the
rules that help somebody get ahead in business can also help them get ahead
dating others. Take a look at the website . To learn more about The
Apprentice go to http://www.NBC.com
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