||Catch A Cheating Husband the
Easy Affordable Way
Many women mistakenly believe they need
to hire a private investigator or buy expensive software or surveillance
equipment to catch a cheating husband. Once you familiarize yourself with
the signs of infidelity, all you really need are your own eyes and ears and
your personal knowledge of your mate. The key is knowing what to look
The information below on how to catch
a cheating husband is adapted from Chapter 4 of "Is He Cheating on
You? 829 Telltale Signs." This comprehensive guide documents
practically every known warning sign of infidelity, including a multitude
of little-known signs not listed anywhere else. It includes signs most women
usually overlook, signs a private investigator is unlikely to find, signs
so subtle that a cheating man wouldnt even think to cover them up;
and signs which will help you pinpoint the identity of the other woman.
For your convenience, the signs of infidelity
in "Is He Cheating on You?"are grouped into 21 categories so
you can easily locate the signs that apply to your husband. Look through
the signs, then give yourself a reasonable period of time ( up to 2 weeks)
to search for clues. Watch your husband. Pay close attention to everything
he says or does. While its true that some telltale signs are subtle,
most are easy to spot, when you know what youre looking for. If you
stay alert to whats going on, youre unlikely to miss any significant
signs. Use your senses all of them.
Look at his appearance,
notice his behavior. Observe any changes in his work habits and his daily
uncharacteristic remarks, for things he now refuses to discuss, for names
dropped, for lies or inconsistencies in what he says
Smell his person,
his clothing, his car for incriminating sexual odors or unfamiliar
Feel the tension
in your marriage, the emotional distance. Dont be so quick to dismiss
your intuition. If your gut instinct tells you something is wrong, take a
Dont let a single day pass without
being keenly aware of everything your husband says or does. The signs that
are evident one day may be undetectable the next. Be alert to anything that
appears to be a departure from his norm. Some women make a point of actively
searching for telltale signs. Others feel so strongly about invasion of privacy
that they only take note of readily visible telltale signs. To them, certain
boundaries are not to be crossed, even for a worthy cause. If you feel uneasy
about spying on your husband, do what feels comfortable to you. It helps
to think of it as information gathering rather than spying. Bear in mind
that sometimes the end justifies the means. The more diligently you look,
the more telltale signs youre likely to find. Some women observe telltale
signs but fail to recognize them for what they are. They make no connection
between what they see and whats going on behind their back. Theres
very little youll miss if you constantly refer to the 21 categories
of telltale signs in the Special Report offered below.
Write Down What You Find
Document everything! Keep accurate records
of what you find. Dont try to rely on your memory. Record your findings
in a journal and keep it under lock and key. Log in the dates, times and
places that suspicious incidents occur. (phone calls, absences, meetings,
excuses or alibis given, names dropped, etc.) If you have everything down
in black-and-white, you can analyze what youve found to see if there
are patterns to his behavior. Does he have to go to the store for cigarettes
or a beer around 8:30 every Thursday night? Do anonymous phone calls only
arrive a half hour before or after he leaves for his weekly night out with
the guys? Does he walk the dog an unusually long time the first and third
Sunday of each month? Does he put on cologne to go work out at the gym? Does
he wear his best suit or one of his favorite shirts only on days he calls
home to say he has to work late? Patterns like these will only be evident
if you carefully document the things you find.
When you find tangible, physical evidence,
pay close attention to exactly where and how it was found. Be careful to
put things back exactly as they were to keep from arousing his suspicion.
When possible, make photocopies or take photos of love notes, phone numbers,
e-mails, letters, incriminating receipts and similar items you happen to
come across. Store your evidence journal in a safe place.
Youll need it when you sit down and tell your husband you know about
his affair. As you go about conducting your investigation, be discreet. Keep
your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut. Maintain your secrecy; be careful
not to tip your hand. Dont let your husband know that you suspect anything
at all. Live your life as normally as you while checking your husband out.
Treat him the same way you did before you began to have doubts. Otherwise,
he may become suspicious. Once he gets wind that youre on to
him, he may start hiding evidence or attempt to cover his tracks. As
long as he doesnt know that youre suspicious, it will be easier
to find out whats going on.
Dont Ask Because He
Continue watching your husband and the
pieces of the puzzle will gradually start falling into place. A lot of his
strange behavior will suddenly begin to make sense. However, you should prepare
yourself for the possibility that it could take weeks before you find out
the truth. During the time youre observing your husband, you may be
tempted to question him about some of the things you see or hear. Youll
feel an overwhelming urge to drop hints about what youve found just
to let him know youre not a fool. My advice to you is dont. If
you give in to these urges prematurely, youll be making a serious mistake.
Keep your lips zipped and your emotions in check until you have all the facts.
Timing is everything. Dont lose the advantage you have by exposing
your knowledge too soon.
It will take great effort on your part
to restrain yourself as the evidence against your husband mounts Do not come
right out and ask him if hes having an affair unless youre prepared
to hear a lie. It usually takes solid evidence before a cheating husband
will reluctantly (if ever) admit to having an affair. Even then, many men
continue to lie. Ask a few discreet questions, if you must, but refrain from
giving him the third degree. Continue your search for telltale signs and
put your major questions on hold. Jot them down in a special section of your
evidence journal. Youll get a chance to ask them later when you sit
down and talk with him about his affair. Restrain yourself for now. Theres
nothing to be gained by dropping hints or letting your husband know what
you suspect. Reveal what you knowe only at the right time, under the right
circumstances. The more information you gather about your husbands
affair, the more fragile your emotions may become -- or the hotter your anger
will begin to blaze. If the pain of discovery becomes too much to bear or
you become too filled with rage to continue, hire a professional who can
investigate from an impersonal point of view.
Build a Strong Case
Once you have solid evidence that your
husband is cheating, experts agree that you should confront him with your
knowledge of his affair. Make sure your case is strong and your evidence
solid. It will be hard for him to deny the truth if you have things down
in black and white. Thats why its so important that you keep
accurate notes. Otherwise, he may try to confuse you or convince you its
all in your mind. This is a common ploy of cheating husbands when confronted
with evidence of their affair.
Plan Your Confrontation
When the time is right for you to confront
your husband with what you know about his affair, the time, place and goals
of your confrontation must be carefully planned. When you confront him, there
are specific questions youll need to ask him about the affair.
A WORD OF CAUTION:
Do not jeopardize your safety searching
for telltale signs. Take all necessary precautions to protect yourself
and your children. If at any time you feel that you are in danger; or if
your husband has aggressive tendencies, an explosive temper or has a history
of violent behavior, leave the detective work to a pro. Do not put yourself
or your children at risk.
© 2001- Ruth Houston
About the Author:
Ruth Houston is the author of
Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs." For
more information about the book, cheating husbands, or infidelity visit
To receive a Special Report with detailed explanations of each of
the 21 categories of telltale signs, send an e-mail to
"21 Categories" in the subject line.
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