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When
Love Ends
By Tigress Luv
Unless you are one of those fortunate few who met
their soulmate in grade school, married right out of high school, and spent
the next 60 years in wedded bliss you are going to go through what millions
before you have gone through, and what millions after you will go through
- a broken heart. The pain experienced during a breakup is as individual
as the millions of people who go through it. While some simply shake the
dust off and get right back into the dating game, others are left so devastated
that they never date again, spending the rest of their life in bitter solitude.
Why the difference? Could some of us just be stronger than others? Do some
people love harder than others? Are some loves more connected than
others?
For most of
us who experience a breakup a normal grieving period will occur: Denial and
Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. But for
some, the grief and devastation are so severe that they end up hospitalized,
and even suicidal. Others remain either bitter or so afraid of getting hurt
that they never date again, closing off their hearts to just about everyone.
Yet, some don't even grieve at all, subconsciously choosing to simply transfer
their feelings for one person immediately onto that of another person in
what is called a rebound relationship.
Why the variation?
Well, a lot of it has to do with our loving style. There are many loving
styles ranging from the very healthy,
to
the desperately needy. While one person may love another in a supportive
and healthy way, another person may cling onto their mate simply as a way
to fix what they imagine to be wrong with themselves. They use their partner
as a method of dealing with their own imagined inadequacies or feelings of
unworthiness - feeling good only as long as they are in the relationship.
Others simply like the 'high' of being in love. This high becomes addictive
to them and they hop from one relationship instantly into another - often
times head-over-heels in love by the second date. They recklessly seek 'love'
much as an addict will seek a 'fix', and are often so in need of being in
love that they imagine their partners to have all the qualities they are
looking for in a mate - whether their partners actually possess these qualities
or not. Still others simply surrender themselves into their relationships
quickly losing themselves and their own sense of individuality, becoming
'the relationship'. Should the relationship end, then shall they,
too.
A healthy
view of oneself, one's partner, and one's relationship is essential to
withstanding the ups, and downs, in our eternal search for that special someone
to share our lives with.
~by Tigress
Luv
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